(Maybe it's because, in my application, I told the truth???)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Documentary Evidence of Democratic Duplicity
(Maybe it's because, in my application, I told the truth???)
I'm Fighting Mad
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Headquarters Update
A Dangerous New Challenge.
She's got actual political experience, having served on the Carbondale City Council and on one of Governor Pat Quinn's advisory committees. Our spin: this tarnishes her by association.
Borrowing from my campaign, she's running as an anti-Chicago down-stater. "I
know a backhoe from a front-end loader," she said in her application papers. I think we can agree that if I'd said it, it would have been funnier.
This is just a reminder that I am not a shoo-in for the Lt. Gov. position. There are a lot of pretenders out there.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Press Release
FRANK MULLEN III SEEKS CANDIDACY AS
ILLINOIS LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR
Democratic State Central Committee
Considers Application
(Aledo, IL) Frank Mullen III has filed papers applying for candidacy as the Democratic nominee for Illinois Lieutenant Governor. An E-mail response received today from the Democratic State Central Committee confirmed Mullen's offer, saying, "Thank you for submitting information for consideration."
"I consider this a ringing endorsement," Mullen said this morning at an informal gathering of his supporter, who declined to give her name. Mullen will officially begin his campaign later today, unless his appointment with the eye doctor runs late. Advance copies of his speech include the following statements:
- "Illinois today stands at the crossroads between Iowa and Indiana."
- "We're sick and tired of Chicago's domination of politics. I swear to you I've only been to Chicago six times, and four of them were layovers at O'Hare."
- "I have no idea what the Lieutenant Governor does, but neither does anyone else, so it's a good fit."
The position of Democratic candidate for Lieutenant Governor is vacant, following the resignation of Scott Lee Cohen, who finally realized that political office would interfere with his busy life as a family-values Chicago pawnbroker who dates prostitutes and ignores demands for court-ordered child-support payments.
Mullen is totally unqualified to hold office anywhere in Illinois. He has never been elected to anything, is a newcomer to the state, is unfamiliar with regional issues, has no platform and is not quick on the uptake with facts and figures. He sees no reason why this should hurt him in an Illinois campaign.
Frank Mullen III is running for Illinois Lieutenant Governor on the campaign slogan:
"Untrustworthy. Untested. Unindicted. Ready to serve."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Frank Mullen: Maverick. Insider. Regular guy. Elitist. All things to all people.
Online at:voteforfrank.blogspot.com
On Facebook: Frank Mullen III for Illinois Lieutenant Governor"
The Petition
I will present the petition to the Democratic committee as the campaign swells.
Update: 2 signatures after only 11 hours. We're on a roll!
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To the Democratic State Central Committee:
We, the undersigned, support Frank Mullen III for nomination as the Democratic candidate for Lieutenant Governor of Illinois. He is without convictions, either legal or moral, and has never held elected office, both of which are high qualifications for office in Illinois. We further believe that Frank's inexperience and average intellect would attract Republican and Independent voters, who like Democrats, have become suspicious of smarty-pants insiders.
Untrustworthy. Inexperienced. Unindicted. These attributes fully qualify Frank Mullen for the office of Illinois Lieutenant Governor.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
It's official.
1. Why are you a Democrat?
There is currently a three-year waiting list for entry-level positions in organized crime, and most of those jobs don’t have health benefits.
2. Have you previously held elected office? If so, which one(s)?
Having never held elected office, my reputation is untainted by the slightest hint of political scandal.
3. What do you believe are the greatest challenges facing the State of Illinois and areas of greatest opportunity?
Here in Illinois, the Heart of the Midwest, the Land of Lincoln, the Prairie State, along whose western boundary the Mississippi River, “Father of Waters,” flows with a steadiness evocative of the strength and purpose of the early settlers who brought in their ox-drawn wagons an enduring faith in the importance of hard work and just rewards, we, indeed, have great challenges and opportunities.
4. What strengths would you bring to the ticket?
At a time when voters are sick of insiders, elites and career politicians, I offer political inexperience, below-average intellect and a proven history of losing interest in things after a few weeks.
5. Please list any organizations or elected officials that have endorsed your candidacy for lieutenant governor.
I am beholden to no organization or public figure. Therefore, my candidacy will be free from the stigma of “endorsements” and “support”; I will have to win this race on my own lack of qualifications.